Hook, Line & Sink Her

If I was a month, I’d be October…. If I was a day of the week, I’d be Saturday…. If I was a time of day, I’d be 11.11…. If I was a sea animal, I’d be a giant octopus…. If I was a direction, I’d be lost…. If I was a piece of furniture, I’d be a cosy arm chair…. If I was a liquid, I’d be Earl Grey tea…. If I was a gemstone, I’d be a tigers eye…. If I was a tree, I’d be a home for squirrels…. If I was a tool, I’d be a penknife…. If I was a flower, I’d be a dandelion…. If I was a kind of weather, I’d be a tornado…. If I was a musical instrument, I’d be very noisy indeed…. If I was a colour, I’d be black…. If I was an emotion, I’d be pure happiness…. If I was a fruit, I’d be left in the bowl…. If I was a sound, I’d be a snort-laugh…. If I was an element, I’d be fire….If I was a mammal, I’d be a panther…. If I was a phase of the moon, I’d be a half-full moon…. If I was a berry, I’d be a raspberry…. If I was a bird, I’d be able to fly!…. If I was a book, I’d be a Judy Bloom novel…. If I was a story, I’d be a happily ending one…. If I was a food I’d be cookie dough ice-cream…. If I was a scent I’d be vanilla…. If I was a place I’d be a tea dance…. If I was a material, I’d be spandex….

For as long as I can remember I’ve wanted a fake stag head to hang on my wall. That may sound strange as I’ve been a vegetarian now for over half my life. But I don’t want a replica head that looks real- I want one that looks supremely fake and has been created to replicate the beauty of the shape of a stag’s head and antlers, not to replicate the head of a dead deer. I found this one online and I was planning on buying it when we move and I know what colour to get, but when I went to the pub on Thursday I realised how beautifully done the Jagermeister deer is, so I think I’m going to paint a copy of that on my wall instead :)